Don't You Dare
by ozhawk
Summary: I don't quite know where this little rage rant came from. I think I'm just so annoyed with Gonzales being such a self-righteous prick on AoS. Someone needs to call him on it. This is kind of what I'm hoping will happen when Phil comes face to face with him in Episode 19. It probably won't. Phil's too nice. But here's hoping…
1. Chapter 1

**Don't You Dare**

**I don't quite know where this little rage rant came from. I think I'm just so annoyed with Gonzales being such a self-righteous prick on AoS. Someone needs to call him on it. This is kind of what I'm hoping will happen when Phil comes face to face with him in Episode 19. It probably won't. Phil's too nice. But here's hoping…**

Phil looked around the conference room, at the people who called themselves the Board of the 'Real' SHIELD. Gonzales, Weaver, Morse, Mack and May. His eyes lingered longest on May. To her credit, she kept eye contact steadily. They both had some explaining to do. But not in front of these others. Phil returned his gaze to Gonzales, held the other man's eyes.

"So," he said calmly, "are we agreed that SHIELD's real enemy is actually HYDRA?"

"That's never been in question, Coulson," Weaver was the one who spoke.

"Not for me, it hasn't, no. But let's face some facts here. Right after SHIELD fell, what did you do with your best agents?" Phil didn't look away from Gonzales. "Because as far as I can see, you sent three of them to keep an eye on _me_. I was the one who sent Morse into HYDRA undercover because we desperately needed information. You had no idea I would do that. No idea what I might do with them."

"What you did with them is get Hartley killed," Gonzales growled.

Phil slammed both his hands down on the conference table. Even May jumped at his reaction. "Don't you _dare_ say that. Don't you _fucking well dare_. You sat on your aircraft carrier, with quinjets and manpower, and you sat on your hands and watched me struggle _desperately_ to safeguard the tiny bit of SHIELD that was all I thought remained, while fighting HYDRA _at the same time_! Isobel Hartley died on a mission doing _both_, stealing a quinjet for the stealth tech you had _all along_, while trying to regain a weapon of mass destruction and keep it out of HYDRA's hands! And _you_ sent her to me!"

The room was deathly silent. Phil carried on, his voice getting harder and colder by the moment.

"You sent me _three_ agents, all to _spy_ on me. When all you had to do was reach out and I would have welcomed you with open arms. If I'd had any idea that you were alive, that the _Iliad_ wasn't at the bottom of the ocean, I would have moved heaven and earth to get you on my team! To work _with_ you, to share some of this fucking _terrible_ burden I've been labouring under all this time! Do you think I don't _know_ how seriously unfit I've been to do the Director's job? God knows enough people have pointed it out!"

Mack shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Looked at his hands.

"But there was _no one else_!" Phil almost shouted it. "May _flatly_ refused to take the job and all I had was a handful of frightened, inexperienced _kids_. Hartley, Morse, Mack – they seemed like a gift from the gods, truly, experienced agents who I could _trust_. Nobody better than Morse to infiltrate HYDRA and watch over Simmons, the scientist who was the _only one I had_ who could interpret the data coming out of those labs and _maybe_ prevent a catastrophe. Nobody better than Mack to run the engineering side for me, with Fitz out of commission and maybe never going to get better. And Hartley, with Idaho and Hunter backing her up, one of the finest field teams I've ever seen. Do you _wonder_ that I used them? That I sent them out on a dangerous mission, in an all-or-nothing play, when frankly I'd reached the point of having pretty much _nothing else left to lose_? Isobel was willing, I assure you. I didn't force her into it. I'm wondering, though, did you? Did you tell her to follow my orders when she relayed them to you, as I'm pretty fucking sure she did?"

Even Gonzales couldn't meet Phil's eyes now. They were all looking down at the table. All but May, who sat silently watching them all.

"Tell me, Robert. What did you tell Isobel Hartley? Did you tell her that you'd send in backup if it all went wrong?"

Bobbi and Mack both turned their heads at that. Looked at Gonzales.

"I'd like to know the answer to that myself, actually, sir," Mack said after a few moments.

"No," Gonzales said after a moment. "No, I told her that we wouldn't be sending in the cavalry. Um, figuratively," he glanced at May, who allowed herself a tiny fraction of a smile. "I didn't want to risk Coulson thinking we were HYDRA. Or realising that there was another faction of SHIELD."

"You sentenced her and Idaho to death," Phil said fiercely, "_unnecessarily_."

Weaver flinched. "_We_ didn't send her in…"

"She wouldn't have _had_ to go in if I'd already had the damn cloaking technology," Phil snapped. "We'd have cut a deal with General Talbot and had the 0-8-4 back in our hands already. And in that case, believe me, it would never have ended up in HYDRA's hands in San Juan. Agent Triplett would _also_ still be alive."

"You can't lay all these deaths at our door, Coulson," Gonzales said coldly, but Phil cut him off.

"I fucking well _can_ and I _do_! I take my own share of blame, believe me. It was I who went to Trip's mother and looked in her eyes and told her I didn't even have enough left of her son to bury. I was the one who called in favours I really needed for other things to make sure Isobel Hartley got the honourable funeral she deserved. I paid out of my own damn pocket to have Idaho's body flown home to Michigan and buried beside his parents. Where the fuck were you, Gonzales? _Where_?" Phil didn't realise that he was on his feet and shouting until May stood and came to his side, putting a slim hand on his forearm. He shrugged her off, leaned on the table and glared around at the others.

"Don't _any_ of you fucking _dare_ accuse me again of being at fault for Hartley's death. Not when you can't look in your own eyes in the mirror and say you don't carry some of the blame. And if you _can_ do that? I'm done with you. You're not SHIELD, if you can do that. You're the worst kind of liars, lying to _yourselves_. You could have prevented all of this. _All. Of. It_."

"He's right." It was Bobbi who spoke, at last, she who'd said nothing throughout this 'meeting' which Phil suspected had been intended as a kangaroo court, an excuse to strip him of all authority. "He's _right_, Robert."

"If we'd had a quinjet back then, we wouldn't have had the problem," May admitted. "We'd have been able to steal the Obelisk and get away from Creel. Hartley and Idaho would definitely have survived the mission. Even if Hartley had ended up touching it, likely enough we'd have been able to save her by taking the arm off, would have been able to get her back to base for medical treatment."

"We wouldn't have had to go to Puerto Rico chasing after the damn thing," Mack rumbled. "Trip wouldn't have died down _there_. Skye wouldn't have been – _changed_ into whatever she's become."

Weaver was biting her lip. Finally, she looked up and met Coulson's eyes. "We weren't sitting idly on our hands," she said a little weakly.

"You weren't focussed on the right threat, either," Phil replied coolly. "Let's be frank. You were consolidating your power base. You were hoping I'd fail miserably and give you an excuse."

"Which you did," Gonzales said, but his voice was thin and faint.

"I sent out a rallying call to loyal SHIELD agents, Robert. _You_ did not answer. I did the best I could with the limited resources that I had. With those meagre resources, I took down five of the seven heads of HYDRA, prevented what could have been a catastrophic event in San Juan, negotiated a truce with the US military and, on the side, began hunting down all the _incredibly dangerous_ people who escaped the Fridge when Garrett blew it open. Yes, May, that's what the Theta Protocol is all about," he added to the woman still standing at his side.

"I have eyes on almost all of them. While we'd need to concentrate forces to take any one of them back into custody – and that's _if_ I had a safe place to put them – the Theta Protocol is a last-resort order to just take them all out. An attempt to make the world a little bit safer, in the event that I determine that SHIELD is never going to be up to the job again."

"_That's_ what you've been doing with all the Gifteds off the Asset Index?" May gasped.

"We thought you were _collecting_ them!" Weaver exclaimed. "Like Mr Peterson…"

"A few – a _very_ few – of them, I trust to help us. Most of those _are_ the contingency plans for dealing with the Fridge escapees who can't be contained any other way." Wearily, Phil sank back down into his chair. "What, did you think I was building some sort of secret army of superpowered people? To do _what_ with, for fuck's sake? Build some sort of second team of Avengers?"

"You did already put the Avengers together once," Weaver pointed out.

"And they need to be left to keep their eyes on the big picture. It's up to us to deal with the crap down in the weeds, leave them to deal with the problems that are beyond us mere mortals."

"Like what?" Gonzales scoffed. "Aliens?"

"Have you forgotten so soon, Robert? I think you've been sitting out in the middle of the ocean too long. Ask Anne," he pointed at Weaver. "She came to New Mexico and saw the Destroyer's remains, _and_ she saw the aftermath of New York. Helped sift through the wreckage picking up alien carcasses and weapons. Fury had his faults, but he understood – and so do I – that the real threat to mankind isn't here on Earth. It's _up_ _there_. _That's_ what we need the Avengers for. And any other gifted individuals we come across who are willing to work towards that goal, I'm all for working with."

The room was very quiet again. To Coulson's immense surprise, it was Mack who spoke up.

"I'm sorry, Director. I didn't understand what you were aiming at. Why you were so obsessed with the alien writings and the city."

"Because _that's_ the true threat," Phil said with a sigh. "Fury said to Thor that mankind was hopelessly, hilariously outclassed. That became very obvious after the New Mexico Incident. Even more so after New York. Believe me, I saw up close and personal just how _very_ outclassed we are. Not only with Loki, I might add. We should be thanking our lucky stars that the Asgardians are our allies. And we need SHIELD back up and running, stronger than ever and purged of HYDRA, to show them that we are worthy to _be_ their allies."

Mack was actually nodding. "I agree, sir."

May had taken her seat again. "What's your plan, Coulson?"

"Wait a minute," Gonzales said sharply, "this is not a strategy meeting on the way forward from here!"

"Maybe it should be," Bobbi said quietly. "Maybe we should vote on it."

"Oliver and Calderon aren't here," Gonzales said instantly.

"There are seven board members, are there not?" May said coolly. "If four of them vote in favour, they don't even need to be here. Their votes wouldn't make a difference anyway."

Gonzales blinked. He looked around the table. "Anne, surely you don't…" he began.

"He's right, Robert." Weaver turned her head to look at him. "Coulson's right. About all of it. I disagreed with the others about backup for Hartley and her team, incidentally," she told Coulson, "but I was outvoted. I heard about you going into extract members of your team who were stranded. And I know you did the same thing more than once for Barton and Romanoff."

"I don't leave anyone behind," Coulson said stonily. "Dead _or_ alive."

"He's right about the bigger picture, too," Mack said quietly. When they all looked at him, he pointed a finger up at the ceiling. "About _up there_ being the real problem. If you've got a plan that gives us a realistic chance of surviving what's _up there_… then I'm with you, sir."

"And he's right about HYDRA being our problem to deal with," Bobbi said, "and since I can one hundred per cent guarantee that they _are_ collecting gifted individuals for a _much_ more nefarious purpose than saving the world from alien invasion… I'm with you too, Coulson."

"I've always been with you," May said quietly at his side.

Phil nodded. Took the Toolbox out of his pocket. "In that case, ladies and gentlemen. Let's get started."

**I'm really hoping that this is the way it comes out. At the very least, someone needs to hold 'Real' SHIELD to account for their culpability in Hartley's death, because the way I see it, that was most definitely their fault. **

**That said, I've just discovered that there is going to be a Patton Oswalt appearance in ep 20! KOENIGS ARE IN THE HOUSE, FOLKS!**


	2. Don't You Dare 2: Jemma to Ward, Ep 19

**Don't You Dare Ranty McRant 2: Jemma to Ward, Episode 19.**

**OK. This one might be a bit more controversial than the previous Ranty McRant. I'm aware that quite a lot of people aren't very keen on the direction Jemma seems to be going right now.**

**Perhaps it's my ruthless side showing. I'm afraid I completely and totally approved of her actions. I only wish she hadn't been convinced she was about to die and therefore had been thinking clearly enough to give Grant Ward the earful he thoroughly deserved.**

**Therefore, I've written it for her… and I've added in what I think might be some of her thought process, explaining why, in her shoes, I'd have done exactly the same thing. Or I like to think that I'd have had the courage to, anyway.**

The scene begins as Sunil Bakshi crumbles to nothing before Jemma's eyes (oh, and incidentally, despite the fact that I mourn his loss because of the excellent eye candy, that was a totally justified and appropriate death, considering all those who died _in the same way_ at Bakshi's orders at the Navy Wedding massacre, the UN attack and the SHIELD safe house in Belgium, in episodes 5 and 6 of the current season. Just in case you'd forgotten that. Yes, I'd have liked to see Jemma react a bit more because AFAIK she hasn't killed before – but we can't have everything).

Sunil Bakshi crumbled to ash in front of her eyes, and she would not regret the murderous bastard's death, she _would_ not, even though his scream would probably haunt her nightmares for the rest of her life.

If she lived long enough to sleep again, that is. She'd barely had time to go for her gun before the muzzle of Ward's was pointed at her face. Slowly, she moved her hand away.

"We're on the same team!" Ward exclaimed. "What were you _thinking_?"

"That I made you a promise," Jemma snapped. She wouldn't cower before him. Would not plead. She'd done that once before, had begged and pleaded for her life even as he pushed the button to send her and Fitz tumbling into the ocean. Not this time. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

"What?" he sneered. "That _you_ would kill _me_?"

She could see it in his face. Hear it in his tone. He hadn't thought that she was capable of it. Well, he'd just learned better. If Bakshi hadn't got in the way…

"I thought we moved past that," Ward said softly, a puzzled look in his eyes.

She almost laughed in his face. Deluded maniac. Did he really think that she could forgive and forget? He tried to _murder_ her. Her and Fitz, and Fitz was even _more_ vulnerable now. She would not, _could_ not, let Ward have another chance at finishing the job. She looked into the gun's muzzle fearlessly. If he killed her now, there was no talking his way out of this one. He'd have ruined forever his chances of acceptance with SHIELD. May and Coulson would never rest until he was dead. No matter what. If her death would buy that – then so be it.

"Go on," she snapped. "Get it over with, you monster."

He stared at her, a puzzled frown furrowing his brow. "You really have changed, Simmons. I'm disappointed in you."

This time, she couldn't restrain the harsh laughter. "_You're_ disappointed in _me_? Oh, that's rich, Ward. That really is, coming from you. I was disappointed in you, too. When you looked in my eyes and pressed the button to drop me and Fitz to our deaths."

"I thought it would float…" he began, and she held up a hand, uncaring of the gun still pointed at her.

"No more excuses, Ward. For once, just fucking take responsibility for your actions, will you? What are you disappointed in? That I'm not the fragile lab nerd any more? That I'll do my own damn dirty work? That I'm not afraid to look in my enemy's eyes and watch them die? _You_ did that to me. I learned that from _you_."

His mouth was open with shock. The gun barrel starting to lower. Jemma barrelled on, uncaring.

"Don't you dare say you're disappointed in me. Don't you bloody well _dare_. _Your_ betrayal made me what I am. And that's someone who's not afraid to die for what I believe in. You want to kill me, go right ahead. Yes, maybe I picked the coward's way, trying for a splinter bomb in the back, but I knew I'd only get the one shot, that I could never take you in a fair fight. I picked my best chance for success, and I failed. I'll still die knowing that I tried to do what I thought was right." She stared him in the eyes unflinchingly. "And if I get another opportunity, I'll try again. And again. Because I _know_ you can't be trusted not to stab us all in the backs at the moment when we're most vulnerable. I _will_ not give you another chance to do that."

The gun was pointing at the floor now. He took a slow step back.

"You want acceptance. You want everything to be as it was before, and it's not going to happen, Ward. We've changed. We've _all_ changed, not just Skye. But _you changed first_. You betrayed us, you _broke_ us, and you can't put the pieces back together, any more than I can fix what you did to Fitz. _We don't want you_. Can't you understand that? We will _never_ want you. Every single one of us would be more than happy to forget that you _ever existed_."

Her words were razored whips, flaying him to the bone. He could not face her. Couldn't face the sure and certain knowledge that every word she spoke was the truth. So he turned and fled. He'd find another way out of the base. He'd call Coulson, tell him to take care of Kara. She, at least, deserved forgiveness, deserved a fresh start. Even if he never would.

"And if I ever see you again, I _will_ kill you," Jemma said to the empty air, a moment before she began to shake with reaction, her eyes filling with tears.

**Incidentally, I'm going to plop some of the blame for Trip's death on Ward's shoulders, as well, even if Jemma doesn't vocalise it here. His actions taking Skye and Raina off the Bus and to San Juan led directly to what happened in the temple, after all. And I like to think that Jemma was at least a little bit in love with Trip, and would definitely blame Ward for his death, as well as the many, many other things which can be laid at his door.**

**I'm aware some of you may not agree with me on this one. And that's OK. It's my opinion. You want to talk about it, I'm cool with that. Feel free to comment!**

**Oh… and thinking about it… I know some people had a bit of a squee when the original six got back together last night.**

**Has it occurred to you yet that the Bus was the seventh member of that group? That the Bus's destruction was symbolic, that it represented the shattering forever of the original team? I'm pretty sure that they'll never appear together like that again. That was the end of an era.**


End file.
